Who Are We, Really? Exploring Identity Across Cultures
Do we change who we are depending on where we are? A personal look at how culture influences our sense of self.
Growing up influenced by two distinct cultures, I learned early on that who I am can feel fluid depending on where I am and who I’m with. At home, I saw the blending of two cultural worlds that shaped everything — language, traditions, even the way we interacted with each other.
But something else started to become clear: while these cultures shaped me, they rarely merged seamlessly. I found myself naturally forming friendships in “groups” that represented one or the other. With some friends, I leaned into one part of my identity; with others, I leaned into the other. It wasn’t forced — it was comfortable. And yet, I noticed a quiet distance. As if an unspoken rule meant I couldn’t combine these two sides of myself.
This didn’t stop at home. When I traveled to countries with similar cultural influences, I shifted again. My accent, the way I carried myself, even the jokes I made felt tailored to the culture I was surrounded by. I felt genuinely myself in each setting, but I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I was leaving part of myself behind every time I adapted.
Are We Shaped by Our Environment?
For anyone who’s experienced life across cultures, this push-and-pull might feel familiar. Cultural adaptation feels natural — sometimes even automatic. But where does adapting end and losing yourself begin?
Shifting identity can feel like a survival tool, especially for those of us who’ve grown up navigating different cultural worlds. It helps us belong, make connections, and find common ground. But it also makes you wonder: does the version of me that fits into this space still represent who I truly am?
It’s Not About Choosing Sides
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that these shifts don’t mean we’re abandoning parts of ourselves. Instead, they show how complex identity can be. We’re not meant to be one thing all the time.
The truth is, our environments shape us, but we also shape them. Each space brings out a part of who we are — a part that’s always been there but feels most comfortable coming to the surface in that moment. While it’s okay to embrace different parts of yourself in different settings, it’s just as important to honour the whole of who you are when you step back and reflect.
A Shared Experience
This isn’t just my story — it’s a shared experience for anyone who’s grown up in or around multiple cultures. Maybe you’ve felt the same way moving from one friend group to another, traveling, or even navigating different social spaces at work.
If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re “too much of one thing” or “not enough of another,” know that you’re not alone. The beauty of living across cultures is that you don’t have to choose. You’re a reflection of the spaces you’ve been in — and that’s not a limitation; it’s a strength.
